L.O.S.E.R

It has been five..umm... eight years since the day I wrote down my dream. And it has been eight years I stuck in this numb situation. Reckless. Lame. Stupid thought. Shame on me!

This is so stupid. Every time I remember 'that day' I just feel more and more guilty and I can't stop feeling sorry for myself. What am I? A jerk? Yeah you can say so. I'm a loser who can't even fight for my dream this eight years. No. I'm a loser for 21 years. How could I do this to myself?

Grabbed a knife from the kitchen and stabbed it into my chest would be easier. Should I continue to be a loser like this? O God I'm tired. Tired for standing still in this point. Tired to dream a dream that I couldn't even have a will to make it come true. If people can do why can't I?

Shame on me! Shame on me! Shame on me!!!!

Day by day I keep on dragging myself into a black hole with no vision. I lost. I lost in my own guilt. I drowned. Get me out of here.


Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby
so why don't you kill me?
(Loser by Beck)

xoxo
eVe~

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